For those who just read about Islam in books, and don't actually know anyone from the muslim community, it can seem quite unnerving that a whole community can abide by what seems like a fairly strict religious practice. It rarely seems to occur to them that muslims, like Christians, have their own large proportion of those who are 'births, marriages and deaths' muslims, and I imagine, human nature being what it is, that most other religious groupings have the same. I would like to hope that this piece spoke to all of them and brought them together on common ground. 

I guess that religion is not too central to most people's daily lives. It's not that they are anti-religious, it just doesn't seem relevant to what they are doing most of the time. But now and again, most people are confronted by situations which challenge their apathy, forcing them to look deeper inside, and to consider what life means. We need the language of religion to express such momentous human events, the most commonly encountered of which are births, marriages, and deaths.

Death reminds us just how short our stay is on this earth, a brief flash in time compared to the stars and galaxies. We work all our lives, but what for? Does it all mean nothing when we are lowered into the grave? Death reminds us that the purpose of our lives cannot be material, only moral, the care and welfare of our spiritual being, nurturing the soul. For with the death and decomposition of our physical selves, only spirit can possibly remain.

Marriage may not be as fierce as death in forcing consideration of life's meaning, but it is when we celebrate our joining together in relationships with other human beings, how we give each other emotional comfort and physical pleasure. Without considering the spirit, how can we explain the illogical nature of sexual bliss and romantic love, or the wonder of the extraordinary nature of procreation, blending the extracts of two separate living bodies for them to combine and grow into a new and different creature.

And who can be apathetic to the miracle of birth, as that new individual separates itself from its mothers womb, through a painfully bizarre process of extrication we know we shared but don't remember. A new creature that will make its own decisions, perhaps following advice, but perhaps not, and whose actions will be judged on its own intentions, just as we are on ours.

The first sound an infant makes after sucking in breath is to cry, but for adults on such occasions tears and laughter can be mingled. Closely linked, both release tension, but tears are more complete. Anguish can lead to hysteria, when what it really needs for healing is to weep. But after a birth the tears of extreme emotion will relax into the laughter of relief, and even a funeral may end with laughter, a celebration of continued life and memories with a wake. These emotions are seated in the heart, which Qur'an compares to rock, sometimes constantly weeping out the moisture it contains, and sometimes needing a shock to break apart and release the water deep inside. But that water must be released into wells and streams if our life is to be sustained.

In his life the Prophet suffered rejection, persecution and personal tragedy, so he wept often. He wept at the loss of his wife of twenty years, and at the death of the son who died in infancy, yet those who knew him said that he was almost invariably happy. Some friends talk of finding the meaning of life in the smile on the face of the Buddha, but I say that, as a muslim, I look to those tears, in the eyes of Muhammad, the most laughing and smiling of men.

[ From the Qur'an, the chapter called the Star, vv 32-49 ]

For those who avoid grave sins and indecencies, although they may sometimes stumble, surely your Lord is ever abounding in forgiveness. Well He knows you, when He brings you out of dust, and in your mother's wombs. So do not judge yourselves purified - God knows best who is godfearing.

Have you considered him who turns his back and gives but a little, and grudgingly? Does he possess knowledge of the Unseen, that makes it visible to him? Or has he not been told of what is in the scrolls of Moses and Abraham (who paid his debt in full), that no soul laden bears the load of another; and that a man shall have to his account only as he has laboured; and his labour will surely be seen; and it shall receive the fullest recompense; and the final end is to your Lord?

And it is He Who makes to laugh, and makes to weep; and it is He Who makes to die, and makes to live; and He Himself created the two kinds, male and female, of a seed cast forth; and upon Him rests the second growth; and it is He Who gives wealth and riches; and it is He Who is the Lord of Sirius.