Right
Actions

You know

humans get together into groups of various kinds,

and some of them can get to be quite crowded.

And the bigger the crowd the more chance people have

of bumping into someone they disagree with,

someone with whom they feel uncomfortable.

Not everyone is going to like everyone else.

It's then that they need a way of setting each other at ease.

They need to find ways of talking together,

and ways of working and playing together.

They need to agree on what are good manners

in the way that they act with other people,

and that part of the muslim way of life

that involves the manner in which people interact,

the good manners of the muslim way of life,

is called Adab.

So Adab involves courtesy and politeness,

behaving in a way that is considered proper.

Now ideas about what is courteous, polite and proper,

are often different in different times and places,

but we can always see similarities

when they have come from the same roots.

So we can trace modern muslim manners to their roots,

the cultures in which they were formed,

their landscapes and weather,

and try to understand how those manners can be expressed now.

And the first thing about good manners

is that they are not for the one who shows them,

because it is the opinion of

the one who is shown the good manners

that is important.

When being polite,

it's the way the other person sees things that counts,

what they think of your words or actions,

not what you think they ought to think.

It is a way of showing concern for each other

that can be different in different places and times,

but traditional ways of expressing Adab

can be seen all around the muslim world.

It can be seen in greetings,

and meetings, and partings,

and hospitality towards guests.

It can be seen in respect for parents and elders,

and the skilled and the wise,

and can be seen at times of disagreement

in those who argue in the fairest of manners.

And of course a crucial part of the Adab at such times

is to refrain from taking offense yourself.

And because the Deen applies in everything we do,

our Adab does the same.

Behaving in a way that is proper and honest

will also apply to the way that we do business.

In business, perhaps the most important part of courteous behaviour

is honesty,

paying bills on time,

and paying a worker's wage as soon as their work is done.

Adab is a way of behaving

that is so much more than polite words.

We try to do what is good

which includes being good to others,

and doing good is the first part of showing good manners.

It is said that a person of Adab knows all different kinds of learning,

enough to take their basic understandings and aims,

and know them well enough to be able to apply them to everyday life

right now.

So what else is important to good manners?

Is it really important to do what we say we will?

Can you be a muslim and still have a good time?